Friday, March 16, 2012

Zero Years Old

This past year has been a particularly hard year for me as a mom.  I've had some wonderful changes to say the least, but one that keeps coming back to mind is the boys 5th birthday.  I was always excited about the boys past birthdays, but on their 5th birthday, I broke down and cried before the day arrived, during the day, and after.  Hitting the age 5 milestone for me means:

They are no longer -
-an infant
-a toddler

No more -
-bottles, diapers, formula, pacifiers, burping the baby
-scent of baby lotion on the boys
-potty training and pull ups
-covered snack cups to prevent spills or sippy cups
-learning how to crawl then walk, looking like a train wreck in the process
-shopping for "mos"  and "T" clothing

I actually can't believe as a mother of twins that I'm saying that I miss those days, but I truly do, I just can't help myself.  I'd do them all over again, if given the chance.  I am truly missing the younger years already.  I hear from so many parents, it goes by way too fast and I'm seeing that, and I'm not liking it one bit.  When the boys turn 6 this coming May, I'm not sure how it's going to hit me, they'll also be starting Kindergarten after this summer too!  When times get tough and challenging I remind myself of the song, "Your gonna miss this" by Trace Adkins and IS that ever going to be true.

"These are some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this." 

I also keep reflecting on family values, which seem to give me a sense of comfort through this issue I'm having.  The togetherness, closeness that we have as a family.  We are loving, caring, and all about family ties.  For the longest time, every holiday as a family we'd gather in my grandparents house in SE TX.  My Granny and Papaw lived in a house that didn't have central heat/air, they had window units and a fireplace, one bath, and a total of maybe 1,000 square feet.  We didn't have the finer things in life, but we were loved, and had our faith.  There would be times that my Papaws entire paycheck would go toward getting the one pair of shoes for each of the kids.  We learned to appreciate the simple things, such as the eggs our chickens produced, riding bikes for fun, and conversation at the table over a fresh baked pie or cookies made from scratch by Granny.  All of this was home.   On Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, we'd have 30-40 people eating there, inside the kitchen, living room, outside in the yard or in the open garage.  And the stories can go on and on. 

I'm hoping I'm able to pass on to my boys those same values that I was given from my grandparents growing up:

*family ties*
*to enjoy the simple things*
*help others as long as they are trying to help themselves*
*be responsible* 

But most of all - "Cherish the day, because tomorrow it will be lost."  My boys will never be able to revisit the ages of 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 years old.  



Or in Wyatt's words....."Mommy, I will never be ZERO years old again."

Me, ........sigh........"I know."

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