It brought back a conversation that I had just this morning with my friend Lori. I asked her "What ever did we do with our boring lives before we had kids?" It makes me wonder what did I do with ALL of that spare time on my hands? We'll for one, I slept in as long as I wanted in the morning time, stayed up late in the evenings, lounged around on the couch at any given moment that I wanted to, made a quick sandwich when running out the door to shop for myself, read a good book, kept my house spotless, had my hair down and curled and combed to perfection. It sounds like a lot of "ME TIME" now that I look back on my recollection of events prior to babies.
I can also remember wanting and praying for children in the worst way. "If it's your will Lord, Blake and I will be parents." I can remember talking to my friend Renae and discussing the fact that ...."I will still love God and praise his name no matter the circumstances, parent or not."
I can also remember the verse - "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord... plans to give you hope and a future...You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11,13
This verse has appeared in my life so many special times. I can remember each time that it surfaced. It will always remind me of my little boys and the people involved in our journey of longing for a family; before and after our fertility treatments.
We were lead to a local doctor for IVF treatments. I can remember the daily tasks like they were yesterday, the shots in the stomach and rear end, pills, patches, mixtures of medication to be taken at an exact time and day. A mountain of information overload, and a badly bruised body and soul. It was a roller coaster ride, and I was holding on tightly for the end result. The birth of our children was the best present I could have ever received. Not only one baby, but we were blessed with two healthy little boys! Our arms and hearts were full of joy.
The overload of different medications.
Injecting the medication into my bruised stomach.
6 mos pregnant (prior to doctor appt)
Blake and myself (prior to shower at church)
Work shower at my home on Holly Oak
Our first family photo.
My days are now full of.... early to rise mornings, going to bed to get enough sleep for tomorrow, sitting on the couch snuggling with the most snuggliest little boys ever, making healthy meals for them, reading them books like "The Little Engine that Could" and "The Pout Pout Fish", my house is a complete mess - (you may slip and fall on train tracks and do the splits on the hardwood floor as I once did), and my hair is mostly in a bun or pony tail and not neatly put up....but it's not about me anymore. It's about a Mommy who can meet two little boys emotional and physical needs, and providing a safe place called home for them. I will cherish every moment.
The house is a mess - Pic #1, Where's Waldo? (two babies?)
(Pics of our first home, that we quickly grew out of.)
The house is a mess - Pic #2
The house is a mess - Pic #3
(The above 3 pics were taken in the first year of the boys birth.)
There's going to be a time, when I can sleep in, stay up late, read a book that I want, and I can neatly brush my hair as long as I need to.
But, I know I will always long for sharing sweet time with two precious little boys.
ONE DAY I'M GONNA MISS THIS.
One of the few photos of myself and boys at 2 mos old.